OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
