You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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