Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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