Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
