He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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