"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
