so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
