Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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