new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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