Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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