he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
