if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I want her autograph on my taint
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
