I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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