hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize