really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
