One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
