I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I met the friendliest cop last night
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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