So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Small penises have feelings too.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
my nose is crying tears of wow.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
