I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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