3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
