the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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