So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
