We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
