..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
