6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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