we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
