All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
