she was so not down for the gang bang
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
