worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
