we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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