it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
