I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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