i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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