Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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