Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..

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(214): View more from Texas

yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster

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(248): View more from Michigan

Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.

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(409): View more from Texas

Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking

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(408): View more from California

Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That ass isn’t going to eat itself.

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