He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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