Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
