i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
