i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize