your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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