my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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