I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
high people should be assigned attendants
There was a lot of him and a little penis
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
