Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
