but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
