There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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