FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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