I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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