it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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