i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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