you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
