There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Are we still banned from the library?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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