If i come over, it means nothing
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I need to calm my uterus...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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