When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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