But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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