she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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