he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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