My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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