There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
