Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There r osticjed everywhere
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
