The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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