I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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