My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
