It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
