Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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