Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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