I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize