singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I am available for nakedness
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize