I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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