stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
