why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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