I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
its not stalking. its research.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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