Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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