It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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