Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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