yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
