The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
