you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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