You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
