names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize