why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
